The Shot Heard 'Round the World...

Yesterday after trotting with the turkeys (a local 5K fun run), Jason trotted on over to the flu vaccine clinic because he had heard that he might be allowed the H1N1 vaccine. After his inoculation he learned that children ages 4-24 were allowed the shot as well. Yippee for Lena and Annika...they are going to be spared the swine flu. They did not share in our excitement. The following is what happened in the next 15 minutes.


First: We couldn't get them out of the car. "We don't want a shot! It will hurt! (cry cry cry)" Introduce parent speech about how shots keep you healthy, will keep you out of the hospital, and Mommy/Daddy now what's best for you.


Second: Children need to be carried into the office building while crying loudly. Mommy is heard saying, "You can cry all you want outside, but the minute we enter those doors that crying better turn to silent whimpers!"


Third: Children are slightly distracted by filling out of paperwork, but still inject every minute their feelings toward the shot.


Fourth: As we line up children are starting to ramp up the protests and crying. Other children come over to explain that it didn't really hurt. This does nothing to curb their "insanity".


Fifth: As we enter the shot room the crying escalates. Mommy and Daddy are able to sit with the children for a couple of minutes (while the child before them screams in "pain" in the exam room) and calm the children with deep breathing exercises and more explaining (and a bit of ice cream bargaining).


Sixth: Apparently that was the calm before the storm. Mommy and Daddy split up and the following is a first hand account of Mommy and Lena's 5 minutes in h*ll. There was screaming, crying, whining, thrashing (all while the nurse patiently waits). In order to calm Lena down I asked the nurse to give us a minute. I was able to get her to lessen her crying, but the minute the nurse came back she ramped it up. She chose to have the shot in her arm, but as I tried to take her sleeve off she resisted and don't let her bony frame fool you...she is strong. Finally, after much more kicking, flailing, out of control (and I stress out of control) screaming and crying the nurse said, "I have no problem doing this by force, ma'am!" Oh good lord! Has it really come to force? I was finally able to wrap my arms around her, grab her hands (essentially physically restraining her) all the while singing a song. In one swift motion the shot was in and she immediately stopped screaming and wriggling and said, "That was it? That didn't hurt! Huh." Huh is right little lady!!!!! (Meanwhile in the neighboring room, Jason and Annika were headed down a similar path, but the nurse was able to reason/explain to Annika all about the process and she bravely, albeit shakily, accepted her fate).


Seventh: As we tra-la-la out of the clinic the children compare battle wounds giggling about how silly it was to get all worked up and how the shot just felt a mosquito bite. Hahahahhahaha. At this point, Mommy bursts into tears...oh happy days it was not! However, the upside of all the drama is that the children will hopefully not come down with H1N1 and next year they will remember this experience and not be afraid of the dreaded needle. They will remember it won't they? Please say they will!!!


The following pictures are a reenactment of yesterday's events. No children were harmed in this reenactment...