This is the story of this girl...this sweet little innocent face and how in one little hour she became infamous amongst her toddler friends...
One day when Lena was not quite two (I can't remember if Annika was born yet or not...sorry second child) I put her in her room for a nap. She was getting to the point in her life where she didn't necessarily want to nap every single day, but where I needed her to nap every single day. She was also in a "big girl" bed which makes me think Annika had been born and must have slept through it all. I had laid her down and I kept hearing her over the baby monitor making noise up in her room. I had gone up a couple of times to put her back down and finally had had enough and decided to ignore her. However, as any seasoned mother knows, ignoring your child never really turns out the way you want. After about 45 minutes-1 hour of her screwing around upstairs I finally started to feel a little guilty. I decided I would take her up some yogurt, feed her a quick snack, and then put her back to bed where she would surely drift off into la la land. As I climbed the stairs and approached her room I smelt something funny and thought, "Huh. I wonder why it smells like the cat barn at my parent's house?" And as I opened her door and it didn't open as smoothly as usual I thought, "Huh. I wonder if a stuffed animal is blocking this door?"Well, well, well, my friends...it was not just some odd smell mysteriously wafting in from the outside and it was not just some misplaced stuffed animal. As I looked down at the floor I saw a pile of poop that had been sawed in half by the opening door. As I scanned Lena's room I noticed a brown hand print on her dresser, one on her closet, another on her wall. There was the random smear here and there throughout the room and one of her drawers (thank goodness an empty drawer) had been pulled out and there was another small pile. Then I saw my sweet little innocent daughter staring up at me with big ol' blue eyes. Big ol' blue eyes that were accented with a nice wash of brown. This sweet little innocent child was naked. Stark naked and covered in poop. Imagine putting a bunch of lotion in your hand and smearing it all over your body. Up one leg and down the other. Up one arm and down the other. Don't forget the belly and the booty and the face. Now imagine a not-quite-two year old doing this with a handful of poop, then taking what was left over and decorating her room with it. That was the scene I came upon. I was rendered speechless. I said nothing. I actually had no words. I very swiftly, albeit gingerly, scooped her up and tossed her in the bathtub. What is the best way to sterilize a poop covered tot? Can you bleach them? I got as much of her rinsed as possible and then scrubbed the heck out of her. I think she actually sparkled when she finally was allowed to get out of the tub. I then took her downstairs, plopped her in front of The Wiggles with a snack (at this point she was in heaven) and attacked her bedroom with rubber gloves and a bucket full of disinfecting bubbles. At this point I had found my words and I think I let a couple of choice ones fly as I washed, rinsed, and repeated.
After all was cleansed and aired out I called Jason to inform him that I should get the Mother of the Year trophy. He was most concerned with whether or not she had ingested any of her medium and I was all, "Ummmm...I just spent the last 82 minutes cleaning poop from the carpet, I think she is FINE!" Needless to say I learned two lessons that day. #1...I wouldn't ignore her for so long at nap time and #2...I would most definitely be duct taping her diaper onto her little body (I kid, I kid).
Now I much prefer this ballerina suit...
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1 comment:
hilarious!!
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